A Hogwarts Adventure
Chp 4: The Gift

The chapter starts out with Sarah giggling over how cute Ron's freckles are. Ron leans in to kiss her and she says she's wanted this since she was eleven. Ick. I really don't think eleven year olds fantasize about kissing.  Ron twirls Sarah's long brown hair in his fingers and that tips her off.  It turns out that she's gotten into Hermione's head. Sarah's first Sue power has appeared- mind reading. It's not very original. There's some filler details about how it's been a week since she's started Hogwarts. She's friends with Harry, Ron, and Hermione and has advanced Potions with Malfoy and Harry.

Sarah goes to the common room with a book and Harry joins her. Harry mentions that Sarah doesn't look well and thinks that she has bags under her eyes. Sarah asks him why he would say that and Harry says he didn't.  Harry realizes Sarah can read minds and starts yelling at her. Ordinarily I would say that's because mind reading is not a canon power, but this is post OOTP, so I suppose Sarah's powers could stretch to her being able to perform legilimency. But it's not mentioned by name, so I'll chalk it up to her being overly special. Sarah yells back at Harry that she can't read minds and storms off. As she goes towards the Great Hall someone drags her into the shadows. Sarah does the logical thing and fights back.

It turns out her attacker is Malfoy. He's quite upset that Sarah beat him up. Generally speaking, most girls don't react favorably to being grabbed and dragged into the shadows. At least this girl doesn't. Sarah and Malfoy talk and I wonder how their relationship works. I know it's been a week since classes started, but have they talked at all? Sarah asks Malfoy why he dragged her into the shadows and Malfoy says it's because he didn't want rumors to start. First of all, the school would probably be used to seeing Malfoy with some Sue. Second of all, since when does Malfoy care about rumors spreading? Wouldn't he be rubbing the fact that he has the beautiful Sarah Matthew's into everyones' faces? Sarah leaves, swaying her hips because she knows it'll make Malfoy drool. Sarah sits next to Hermione at breakfast and says that she needs to talk to her. Harry gets upset and storms off because he thinks that Sarah is going to tell Hermione about him. From what I read, it wasn't anything horrible. It's not like Sarah knows some deep secret about Harry.

Chp 5: The Tease

I think this chapter has pieces missing. Best I can figure out is that Malfoy's mad at Sarah for not coming straight here(wherever that is) when she was finished eating. He sounds like her father. Jeez, now I'm having flashbacks to fics when the boys punish their girlfriends. I really don't want to think about that. Time skip to Hermione and Sarah talking  about something. The rest of the chapter is cut off.

Chp. 6 : Threesome

I suppose Hermione went to the library to research. Parts of this chapter are missing as well. Best I can make out is that Sarah was with Malfoy and she read his mind.  Now she's in the common room crying.Harry comes in. I wonder why she's having this reaction now. Is it because Malfoy knows she can read minds? Harry hugs Sarah. Harry really isn't good with crying girls. I doubt he would do this for a girl he's only known for a week. And yet again there's more mention about the fact that Harry doesn't like Malfoy. Hermione comes in and has a nice in character moment when she says that she read a book about mind-reading before. People who can read minds usually have telekinesis as well. Since when? Hermione suggest s that they tell Dumbledore so he can find Sarah a tutor. Sarah shows off her voyeur side when she says that she wants to watch peoples' dreams. Considering that she's been in one of Harry's dreams(which was a threesome) that strikes me as a little perverted. Harry finds out about this and storms off. I don't understand something. Sarah said she couldn't read minds, but she's been able to get into someone's dreams. Why would she not do something about it until today? Are her powers manifesting? Hermione begs Sarah to tell her about Harry's threesome dream, and I'm little shocked at that. Judging from that, I bet Hermione would be wild in bed.

Chp 7: Double Trouble

Harry is still embarrassed that Hermione  and Sarah know about his little dreams. Hermione and Sarah are still not talking to Ron. I don't know why. They didn't have a fight. I'll chalk it up to Weasley bashing. The fic suddenly jumps to Harry's point of view. Hermione and Sarah are all dressed up in sexy clothing and start kissing him. Harry thinks it's going to be the best night of his life, but Hermione and Sarah just leave. I just can't get over how Hermione's acting. I guess underneath that bossy bookworm persona lies a dominatrix. Who knew?

Chp 8: Sleeping Beauty

I never want to hear the phrase Sleeping Beauty in any work. It's so cliche and sappy. Sarah goes to Potions class. Harry is still mad about the prank that Sarah and Hermione pulled. Malfoy's been avoiding Sarah so she takes a leaf out of his book and pulls him into a corner. I don't know why these people can't go up to someone and talk to  them like a normal person. Sarah asks why he's been avoiding her. He's mad that Sarah ran off after she read his mind. Turns out he was thinking about how Sarah was so pretty and how she's making him soft. Ick. I hate sappy Malfoy. He just stands there like an idiot and Sarah runs off to Potions

This is where it starts getting a little squicky and mushy. Snape comes in and glares at Sarah. He's figured out she's a Sue! Yes! Come on, Snape, annihilate her! No such luck. Snape tells the class they'll be making a sleeping potion. Only the kiss of their true love can awaken the sleeper. Two things. First of all, that is incredibly sappy and cliche. I hate the true love/soulmate angle. It's just an excuse for authors not to develop their romance. Not to mention that it just makes the characters look like even bigger Sues. Oh, and there's only one couple who can experience true love every hundred years. I find that incredibly insulting.

Second, is Snape joking? He's going to allow students to make a potion that could send someone into a coma and test it on each other? I know Snape's a jerk, but he wouldn't do this. He could get fired. Thankfully Snape's found an antidote, so he won't be arrested for sending the entire class into comas. Sarah's partnered up with Harry. He's still upset over the prank. I don't know much about guys, but I'd think they'd be upset when two sexy girls start kissing him, pull down his pants, and then leave. Malfoy comes in late and surprisingly Snape sneers at him to come to his desk. He then slapped Malfoy and told him to get back in character.

It turns out that the potion is the same one the witches used in Macbeth. Are you kidding? That wasn't a sleeping potion in the play. Second, is the author so unoriginal that she can't think up a Potion. Then again, wouldn't the Draught of Living Death work just as well? Harry doesn't know about the speech, so Sarah recites the Double, double, toil and trouble bit in Macbeth. Is this supposed to impress me? All I have to do is search google for it. I am so sick of authors throwing around references to common stories and expecting me to think they're literary.
Snape makes Sarah drink the potion. Every male will have to kiss her. I think it's only fitting that I mention the term sex'er up rape (credit to Das Mervin and Mrs. Hyde). He could get fired for that. Doesn't that count as sexual harassment? This is disgusting.  Sarah naturally refuses, and Snape tells her that he'll fail her if she doesn't. At that point Sarah should have marched straight to Dumbledore's office. Snape should not be doing this. But Sarah drinks the potion. She dreams about kissing Malfoy and then she wakes up.  Malfoy stood guard over Sarah and didn't let anyone kiss her. It's been at least a week or so and he's already guarding her.  So Sarah was saved by being raped by her classmates, thank goodness.

Skip to dinner. Dumbledore announces that there's going to be a costume ball. For the love of Pete, there was only one ball in Hogwarts History, and that was to tie in with the Triwizard Tournament. Hogwarts does not host costume balls, damn it! Ron and Hermione are going together as characters from the Matrix. Why would Ron and Hermione go together? Ron has a habit of putting his foot in his mouth. Second, how does Ron know what the Matrix is? I know Hermione and Harry might have seen some Muggle movies, but I can't imagine when they would talk about them. Harry's going as Dumbledore as a joke. I never knew Harry had a sense of humor.

Meme Day Three
Eight ways to win my heart.

1. Read. I don't expect you to be a bookworm(it'd be nice, though) but at least be able to answer me when I talk about books or I'll feel stupid.

2. I want to be able to talk and laugh with you. Be open with me.

3. I don't care what the media is portraying, I am not turned on by guys who act like jerks. So stalking me while being an asshole will piss me off.

4. Understand that I have never been in a relationship. Be patient with me. Don't come on too strong too soon.

5. You are under no obligation to do anything for Valentine's Day. I'm not the type of girl who fusses over one week anniversaries. I will buy you presents, but please don't expect anything overly fancy. I don't mind presents, but nothing too extravagant. I'm low maintenance.

6. If I ask you why you like me, don't just say because I'm pretty. I like being told I'm pretty, but like me for something other than my looks. I liked guys because they were nice to me, easy to talk to, and I had fun with them.

7. Be respectful to my family and myself.

8. Understand that I want us to be a team. I want you to be able to rely on me, and I want to be able to rely on you. I have no problem holding the door open for you and buying dinner sometimes.

Meme Day Two
Nine facts about yourself.

1. I want a cat, but I'm allergic and my mom hates them. Plus I have two birds and a turtle, so I probably won't have time to look after them.

2. I check behind the  shower curtain for murderers.

3. Apparently I am not properly black because I don't eat collard greens, macaroni, and fried chicken. Mom does the cooking in the house and she cooks Trinidadian food.

4. I have this fear that if I sleep facing the window the devil will appear behind me and hit me with a hammer.

5. I have tasted soap and liked it.

6. I will write a book one day. I probably won't have my MC hook up with anyone, though. I can't write romance and I find that friendship is lacking in the YA department. And I won't have any jackass pretty boys.

7. I have never been kissed. I did kiss myself on the elbow because I read in a magazine that was useful. Obviously, I have no clue if it was.

8. I really hate how people excuse bad behavior if a character is hot. Just because they are attractive doesn't  mean you have to submit to them! Grow a backbone! And quit erasing a character's flaws. Snape is a bastard. Get over it. Although I do think Alan Rickman has a sexy voice.

9. I have never seen the following movies: Star Wars, Indiana Jones, Star Trek, The Matrix, Casablanca, Titanic, and Avatar. I am not watching a romance film. We were watching Avatar in class and I was so bored. The effects were nice, though.

Meme Day One
Ten things you would say to ten different people right now. Some are  fictional.

1. Why are you such a whiner? You have a good home and good parents. There's no reason for you to find the downside in everything. Of course I read in a review that you'll get some character development and some deep-seated issues will probably be revealed. I hope so, because I really like your book so far, but there's only so much whining I can take.

2. You are snarky, sarcastic, cowardly, selfish and vain. I hate characters like you, but for some reason I like you. A lot. Maybe it's because you're not a pretty boy love interest. Maybe it's because the author makes no attempt to excuse your behavior at all. Or maybe it's because your dialogue with the other protagonists' is funny.

3. I don't care what you say, you are a blasted fangirl. A shallow, lust-filled fangirl. Love you.

4. I've really had it with fan fiction writers making you out to be this badass angster. You are not that great. Yeah, your actor's kind of cute, but you aren't cute in the books. I'm pretty sure your father doesn't have you chained up in the dungeons or anything like that. And  I know damn well you aren't cutting yourself while listening to depressing music.

5. Your reviews give me something to look forward to every Tuesday night. Have them up faster, damn it!

6. I kind of miss singing head and shoulders with you. But don't drag me by my thumb, alright? 

7. I really hope I can set up an appointment with you to rearrange my schedule. It's way too spaced out for a commuter without a license.

8. What are you going to do now that you're married? The family will be on your case to either start school or get a job.

9. Make me muffins and cookies! I like the blueberry muffins. But don't give any for mom to take for her co-workers.

10. I love you. You've been my rock and every other good thing combined. I'm just not good with expressing feelings, alright?

A Hogwarts Adventure
 So I'm bored and decided to spork the first Sue I ever came across. I actually thought Sarah was so cool once upon a time, but now I know better. Anyway, she's a Harry Potter Sue. 

I am immediately irritated at the first sentence. The fic is in the you perspective. I'm sure the you perspective can be done very well, but it's a Sue fic. While I do want to go to Hogwarts, I have no desire to become Malfoy's girlfriend or fight Voldemort. I do think telekinesis is cool(Sarah,or me, technically, has it) and I would be friends with Hermione. Moving on. Sarah's American, and finished her fifth year in a school in the Shenandoah valley where no one can find it. I bet it was a Sue training school. They probably have classes such as How to Steal a Canon Character's Atrributes, How to Sleep With Your Favorite Canon Character, How to Defy the Rules  of the Universe and Laws of Physics, How to Warp Canon Characters OOC, and more. It was probably hidden in case an army of sporkers attacked. Hah, that's a nice image. Sarah's too speshul to fit into any one label, but she can be labeled a punker by the way she dresses. Actually, I would label her as a slutty little bitch by the way she acts. Blah, blah, blah, exposition. I started singing the boring song from the Nostalgia Critic's review of Alone in the Dark. 

 Okay, so I think the fic has formatting issues. Sarah's parents tell her that they are moving. Sarah has epic overreaction. I seriously thought she was about to faint. Sarah's all, "I don't want to move, you bastard." Sheesh, I was more mature when I moved to Florida at eight. So she goes to her best friend Jasmine's house where they cry that she's moving. But Sarah comforts herself with some subtle foreshadowing about how maybe she'll meet Harry Potter and defeat Voldemort. It's compulsory for her to do so. One of the first things the Sue learns at her school is how to become best friends with the canon characters. The chapter is over. That was relatively painless.And  boring.

Part Two: Moving to England

Sarah and her family are at the airport. The Weasleys are supposed to be meeting them. The father says that they have found them a nice house and that some of their children have graduated. He mentions Ron(not by name, but it's obvious) and how he has a friend that he's sure Sarah will get along with. She gets along quite well with Harry, save for the time he has to haul her drunk ass back to the dorm, or when she slaps him. Sarah says that they'll get along if they leave her alone. What a bitch.  Seriously, the Weasleys go out of their way to find them a house and she wants nothing to do with them. I would be very grateful. But then again, I'm not a selfish bitch. So Sarah and her family get off the plane and they see the Weasleys. They are very scared that a Muggle will attack them. You know, Arthur Weasley would not react like that. I'm sure he would be fascinated at an airport.  Harry's with them, and he has the honor of being called handsome by Sarah. The Weasley's greet Sarah's family, So Ron whispers something to Harry and Sarah gets mad. Well, I don't like people whispering while they are near me because it makes me feel uncomfortable. But Sarah immediately says she's not going to like it in England. I can understand being upset that you have to move. But move on. Sulking and not seeing the good in a situation will get you nowhere. 

Everyone goes to Diagon Alley to get their school supplies and Sarah takes out her Ipod. Ron is fascinated by it. Sarah lets him listen to it and there's some praising about how American accents are so cool. Sarah likes Blink 182 because the author does. You know, I wrote a horrible self-insert Mary-Sue fic in my diary. That stuff is best done in private. They get their robes fitted in Diagon Alley and Ron and Harry keep going on about how they hope Sarah is in Gryffindor. Why? She hasn't done anything of use. Oh wait, she'll turn Malfoy into a pansy, hook up Hermione and Ron, throw parties, save Sirius, befriend the centaurs, and beat up Voldemort. That's rather useful. Clearly the characters could not function without Sarah. Sarah plays Quidditch. Then they go to Flourish and Blotts and meet up with Hermione. And then the moment we've been dreading happens. Sarah meets her man. She's distracted by Malfoy leaning against a shelf like he's reading a book. Here's a thought- MAYBE HE'S READING A BOOK! Oh, who am I kidding? He's only pretending to read a book so he can check Sarah out. And I bet that he's wearing punk clothes despite the fact that he is a prejudiced git, and that his soft silver-blond hair is falling into his stormy gray eyes that are so full of emotion. He's staring at Sarah, she blushes and turns away. A moment later Malfoy taps her on the shoulder. I would say that he apparated, but he's underage, and Sarah didn't hear a sharp crack. So I guess he teleported.  Malfoy tries to act all suave and introduce himself, Harry is made to look like a jerk because he wants to know what Malfoy wants, Malfoy says a recycled insult, Sarah wonders why Harry is being so mean. I notice that Sarah actually takes out her headphones when she notices Malfoy. Oh, and Sarah, if you're wondering what Harry's problem is with Malfoy, here's an idea. Ask him. Just say, "Hey, Harry, what's the deal with you and Malfoy?"   Oh, and Sarah finds out she's been talking to Harry Potter. Now I'm imagining her reporting back to the school. "Phase One Complete. Have Found Harry Potter and his friends. Now to warp them OOC and upstage them."

Part 3:  The Start of The Chase: aka Horrible Flirting

I want to start singing High School Musical Songs. Dunno why, I hate that franchise, but the title makes me think of "Start of Something New."  Sarah's at her new house and her parents gave her everything she ever wanted, including a Quidditch pitch but it  could be better. I'm only three chapters in and I'm getting bored of calling this girl a bitch. Seriously, your parents give you everything you want and you still complain?  Ungrateful brat. Sarah charms the balls to move. She's underage. How the hell does she manage that? Does she have elf powers or some shit like that? Harry and his friends come over.

Time skip to the train. Everyone's gawping at Sarah as if unable to believe that yet again they will have their universe warped by a Sue.  Some boring stuff happens and the only noteworthy thing is that Sarah accidentally hits Malfoy in the face when she opens the door to the changing compartment. Malfoy asks her if she likes it rough. Sarah, despite her claims that men are nothing but trouble, melts. So there's really no chase here at all. Sarah seems to be one of those girls who says men are nothing but trouble, but will screw the first one that smiles at her. Harry and Ron come along and see that Malfoy's hurt. Ron's made to look like a jerk because he's happy about it. Of course this gives Sarah an opportunity to sulk about how everyone is so mean to Malfoy despite her only knowing him for five minutes. And yet again, Sarah doesn't bother to ask why Harry and Ron don't like Malfoy. They've gone out of their way to be nice to her, but they're made to look like the bad guys.

Sarah's at Hogwarts now, and she's led to the Great Hall by an old lady with gray hair and glasses. I suppose that's Mcgonagall, but she has black hair in the books and brown hair in the movies. Wow, the author had two canons to choose from and she messes both up. Dumbledore does the customary announcement of the new American students arrival and the students start organizing a betting pool. What would it be this time? An elf? A demon? Malfoy or Harry's long lost sister? The real chosen one? Voldemort's daughter? Who would she hook up with? Malfoy or Harry? The Hat starts talking to Sarah and it mentions that she's able to get her way very easily, which apparently is a Slytherin trait. Personally I think that it's the trait of a spoiled brat. Thankfully, at least she won't be sorted into Slytherin and defile one of my Houses.But apparently the Sorting Hat sees something in her that is very rare so she's a Gryffindor.  I have no clue what Sarah's rare gift is. Maybe she'll have the ability to warp canon really OOC. At any rate the Gryfindors go wild. I have no clue why they did this; it's not like Sarah's done anything of importance. But I suppose they know that if they have a Sue in their midst they can get away with murder. Sarah happens to look over at Malfoy's table while she's eating and he gives her a smirk. Apparently that means he wants her.

  The meal ends and Ron and Hermione go show the first years the dorms. Sarah has a brief conversation with Malfoy and it's really boring. It's the kind of conversation classmates would have when they're asking about the homework assignment. There's nothing there. There's no arguing, no flirting, not even enthusiasm.  Yet I'm supposed to believe that Sarah likes to play hard to get. The chapter ends with Hermione squealing over the lead singer of Blink182 and Sarah wishing he was Malfoy.

Resisting Devotion
Title: Resisting Devotion
Author: Lisaerin
Fandom: Twilight Series
Words: 2,250
Rating: PG 13
Warnings: Some remarks that could be taken as pedophilia and remarks that sound like rape, and language
Inspiration: This would be post BD
Author's Note: I wrote this fic after a comment made by Gehayi on one of Mervin's sporkings.

Claire can resist Quill's level of devotionCollapse )

Spitefic: Backbone
<lj-cut text="backbone.">

  Title: Backbone
Author: Lisaerin
Fandom: The Twilight Series
Rating: PG
Word Count: 1,492
Inspiration: Chapter Six of Eclipse
Summary: Bella grows a backbone.
Author's Note: In Mervin's original Eclipse recap, she mentioned that she would like to write a spitefic where Bella destroyed the Porsche. I couldn't get around Alice's ability either, so I had Bella finally stand up to herself. I hate Alice.

 Bella grows a backboneCollapse )Bella grows a backboneCollapse )

Defying Gravity: A Leah Clearwater story

I hate pink.  I've hated it since Sam and Emily's wedding. It wasn't enough that I had to go to that bloody wedding. Yeah, mom, that was exactly what I needed. I needed to go to my cousin's and ex-boyfriend's wedding when it was supposed to be mine. I needed to have Sam and Emily's perfect relationship shoved in my face. But mom was all, "Leah, Emily's your cousin. Can't you be happy for her?" Sure, mom. I'll be happy that my cousin chose to get with my fiance even though said fiance scarred her. I'll be happy that even though I'm the victim here, I'm being thrown to the wolves. Everyone always acts like I'm such a harpy. Well, maybe I'd be a bit nicer if anyone had tried to sympathize with me. Did anyone say, "Leah, are you okay?" Nope, it was true love and I stood in the way of it. So, I became the bitch.
  The wedding was awful. It wasn't enough that Emily had to keep rubbing in my face that she had my boyfriend and true love without any effort. No, I had to stand there in a church full of rose petals, and candles, and all manner of girly things. Typical Emily. She'd been planning for a fairy tale wedding since she was five. I smirked at her wedding gown. It was a gorgeous pink princess dress with jewels on it. She wore a tiara on her head. Yup, Emily was the princess and she'd be damned if anyone forgot it. I stood there in a horrid pink dress. I tried to imagine that I was the one walking down the aisle with Sam, but I couldn't. The Sam walking down the aisle wasn't my Sam. He was a cardboard cutout, a robot designed to keep Emily happy. He had no interests  anymore. The only thing that interested him was keeping Emily happy. He had no emotion in his eyes except for a disgusting puppy dog adoration when he looked at my cousin. Sam and Emily said the most sappy vows I've ever had the misfortune to hear, and then had the reception. It was a lovely reception, with everyone congratulating the happy couple. I lurked in the shadows so no one could see me scowling and start bitching at me.

So ever since that day, I've hated pink. I didn't really care for pink in the first place, but now I hate it even more. Every time I thought of that color, I thought of Emily in her wedding dress. I thought about the day I'd lost Sam. Sam and Emily had three beautiful little girls. They made me godmother. Sam and Emily have really got to stop trying to make up with me; half the time, they just make things worse. I finally had enough of La Push and split. I know running away never solved anything, but what exactly did I gain by staying there? I just wanted some time away to think. You know, to be able to cry and reflect on all that happened without being called a bitch. Idiots. They just didn't want to hear my pain because they knew that they were responsible. One day I got sick of all the names and sick of my life not going anywhere, and I left. I haven't been back since. Sometimes I wonder about the pack. Without the bitch, they're probably enjoying their sham of a happy ending.  We're better off without each other.

I looked at the girl's dress. It was pink. I watched as her vampire boyfriend whispered something, probably some angsty declaration of love. Did the girl know she was dating a vampire? Had he told her? Probably. He'd probably moaned about not wanting to be a killer and she was his only reason for living. Honestly, pansy vampires filled with angst are all the rage these days. I would have thought that vampires would be above trends and social settings, but I guess they're just like humans. Except that they drink blood, they're stronger, prettier, and most of the time, richer. The vampire pulled his girlfriend into his arms and kissed her passionately. I tried not to watch. I had absolutely no desire to watch them make out. But I had to stay. It was part of my mission. 

Their moans were getting louder. I watched as she wrapped her legs around his waist and he backed her up against the wall. Oh, hell, please don't let them start doing it, I pleaded. I had to give this vampire credit though; most vampires I'd encountered barely touched their girlfriends. The vampire's lips moved towards the girl's neck and I readied myself. Any moment now. I heard the girl whimper. The vampire's hold had tightened. I shifted. The girl screamed as I emerged and tackled the vampire. He lost his grip on her and she fell to the ground. I sank my teeth into the vampire, growling at the girl to run. That didn't work. Obviously. The girl screamed again and started darting around us.  I wanted to yell at her to get out of here, but I couldn't change back.

'"Leave him alone! What are you doing?" I wished this girl would shut up. Couldn't she see I was trying to help her? The vampire grabbed me and hurled me against the wall. I thought I felt something crack. Furious, I charged at him and sprang. He didn't react quickly enough and my teeth were in his throat.  His arms rained blows on me , but I held on grimly. This wasn't as long as other fights, and I was grateful. I felt something on my back and heard a high voice. The girl was hitting me and yanking my fur. Usually when someone sees a giant wolf, they'd either faint, run away, or be scared stiff. But not this girl. This idiot was attacking me while all I was trying to do was save her.

Her blows distracted me and the vampire managed to throw me off. I sailed through the air and crashed on the ground. I hit my head, though I doubted it was enough to do any damage. Still, I was dazed for a minute, and that was all the vampire needed. He grabbed his sobbing girlfriend in his arms. This time he wasn't gentle. He held her in an iron grip and bit down hard. The girl trashed and screamed. I darted towards them and growled. The vampire threw the girl's limp body to the ground.  He rushed towards me. I dodged and attacked him from behind. I was bruised all over, and exhausted. I wasn't the best girl to mess with when I was angry. The poor vampire didn't have a chance.  Plus, I had to attend to the girl now. I had to finish the fight as quickly as possible.

I shifted back and stared at the remains of my clothes. I had to stop wearing clothes I liked; I'd just shift and ruin them. It was a waste of good money. Then I remembered the girl. I hurried towards her. "Hey, are you okay? Come on, wake up!" The girl didn't answer. I grabbed my bag from behind the dumpster and dialed 911. The ambulance would be on its way shortly. I examined the vampire's body. He was young, about eighteen, I would guess. At least his hormones worked properly, unlike another vampire's.  A quick look through his pockets and I found a wallet. He wasn't the richest vampire I'd killed, but his money could come in handy. His jacket sure would. I bundled myself in the jacket. All I wanted to do now was go home, take a hot bath, and watch television before going to bed. But I had one more thing I had to do.

"Leah, thank you." The man grabbed my hand and shook it. His daughter lay in a hospital bed. She'd be fine. "It was nothing." I told him. It was nothing. Hunting down vampires trying to drain my blood was my job. Actually, maybe it was more of a hobby.

"You saved her life. I tried to tell her over and over again that he was bad news, but she wouldn't listen. She was so sure she was in love that she never listened to reason." He broke off and looked at his daughter. She was pale and had bruises on her. "She could have...she's a smart girl. I didn't think she'd fall for those lies he fed her. Thank you so much."

"You're welcome." I had to smile. I loved this feeling. I loved being able to help others. I liked to think that I helped protect people, and that I was making a difference. "You're an angel, Leah." I hadn't been called that in a while. Bitch, harpy, nuisance, yes. Angel, no. "I'm not an angel," I told him. "I'm a harpy bitch. I'm a nuisance." The man looked shocked. "How can you say that? You're saving  innocent girls!" I smiled bitterly. "My friends and family thought I was a nuisance."

The man tutted. "They don't know how lucky they are to have you."  When he saw the look on my face he said, "I mean it, Leah. You're a great girl and you're doing a great thing. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise."

I smiled genuinely. If I could make a difference, then I was happy. The man had reminded me why I was doing this. "Thanks."

After a hot bubble bath, I sat on my bed in a fluffy bathrobe with my roommate and best friend, Ally. We'd met after I'd come into her family's bookstore, looking for a job. I'd been hired, and we hit it off right away. We talked about everything; books, boys, music, our dreams. Ally saw me as a girl and a friend, not as a harpy. It was nice to be seen for who I was again, and not what people had made me out to be. My life was turning back to normal. I had friends, a job, and there were a few cute guys around. Unfortunately, the calm didn't last. A vampire broke into the shop and killed Ally's father. I was in the upstairs apartment when I heard the scream. The vampire had drained Ally's father and was going to drain her. I shuddered at the memory. If I'd been one second too late...I glanced over to where Ally was browsing our website. I didn't want to think about it. I'd shifted and killed the vampire. After Ally had woken up from her fainting spell, I had to explain everything. To this day, I still don't know why I didn't run away. I have to give Ally credit, though. Once she found out about the magical world, she had this idea to become vampire hunters. I told her she was nuts, but the idea of fighting vampires did appeal to me, and it would save a lot of people. I became a vampire hunter. Ally and I designed a website for people to report vampire activity.

Ally became my researcher. There was no way I'd let her fight the vampires, and she didn't care to. But she was good at tracking them when they used credit cards, finding out where they lived, that sort of thing. So instead of Leah the bitch, I was now Leah, the vampire hunter. It did have a few perks, such as the vampires being rich. Ally objected to me stealing their money, but she didn't mind when I used it to help pay the bills, buy her that necklace she always wanted, and donated it to charity. So, I had a pretty good life now. Sure I got banged up now and again, but I was content.

Ally made a noise in the back of her throat. "What's the matter?" I asked.

"Nothing." She turned her face away and I knew something was up.  I crossed the room and stood in front of her. "Did you get an email?" Ally started to giggle. She was going to lie to me. She always giggled when she lied. "Tell me the truth, Ally. Why are you hiding this?" Ally sighed and placed her hand on her cheek. Her smile was gone. "I'm trying to figure out how to phrase this so that you won't kill me."

"Don't beat around the bush, Ally, you know I hate that."

"Okay. The email is from La Push." If I'd been drinking something, I would have spat it out. "Are you sure?"


I was puzzled. As far as I knew, the Cullens were the only vampires nearby, and the wolves could handle the vampires. Why was someone asking us for help? Didn't they know about the wolves?

"It's not about vampires, though." This interested me. Ally and I could deal with things other than vampires, but we specialized in those. "What is it, then?"  Ally scanned the email some more. "A wolf imprinted on a woman's daughter. She and her daughter are scared. The wolf is stalking her, no one's helping, she's afraid her daughter will be hurt."

"What does she want us to do?  Kill the werewolf?"

"I think she wants you to be bodyguards for her daughter or take her away. She needs help really badly, Leah." I thought it over. I wasn't exactly sure what to do. I could kill the wolf, but I didn't want to kill one of my old pack mates. I could try to reason with the wolf, but trying to reason with a wolf that had imprinted was impossible. I could arrange for the girl to go elsewhere, or teach her self-defense. Ally studied me.

"I don't know if I can go back to La Push. After all that happened there..."

"Forget about those assholes. They're not good enough to lick the dirt from your shoes. No, even that's too good for them."

"I suppose you're right. It's going to be hard, facing the others. They'll probably start whining that I'm messing with true love."

Ally snorted. "They know nothing of real love. All they care about is infatuation and stalking."

"True. We'll go, but I'm not sure what exactly we can do."

"Work it out with them when you arrive."

"Right. Book us tickets. I'm going to go pack." As I packed my bags, I trembled. It had been sixteen years since I left.  Did anyone remember me? Was everyone okay? I thought about their reactions when they would see me. I bet they'd be displeased and rag on me for not understanding true love. They'd still see me as the bitter harpy. Well, I wasn't that girl anymore. I was sick of being everyone's punching bag, everyone's scapegoat, and the victim. I was Leah Clearwater, vampire hunter, and I had a mission

(no subject)

Emily had loved fairy tales when she was younger. She loved the beautiful yet kind girl. She loved how the girl was good and kind and would get the handsome prince at the end. She loved how the prince and the girl would be destined for each other and that nothing could keep them apart. She dreamed of finding a Prince Charming who would caress her, protect her, listen to her every whim, and make her his world. She liked to see herself as delicate.

Leah had no time for such nonsense.  She thought that those girls were a bunch of wusses and idiots for falling in love with prince at first sight. They had only just met the prince, so how could they be in love? Emily had told Leah that it was fate, but Leah had demanded a better explanation. Emily had just laughed and called her a cynic.

Emily waited for her Prince Charming. She fit the role of the girl, she thought. She was a wonderful cook and cleaner. She was quiet and polite, the way the girls in the fairy tales were. She had no doubt that her handsome prince would come. Leah would point out all the flaws in her fantasy, but she was curious to know why Emily didn't go out and find a man. Did she honestly think that her soulmate would magically show up? In a word, yes. Emily believed that her soulmate would show up one day.

When Emily's soulmate showed up, she couldn't have been more shocked. By that time in her life she'd kissed her share of frogs. Perhaps she was being too naive. Perhaps there was no such thing as the perfect man.  One look at Leah's boyfriend was enough to convince her.

Emily had had a set idea of what she wanted her prince to look like. She didn't expect her prince to have long black hair and rough hands. She didn't expect her prince to be poor. But she knew it was her prince. She had believed in love at first sight, or to a lesser extent, attraction at first sight. Emily couldn't deny the attraction she felt to Sam. When Sam stepped forward to shake her hand, she thought she saw something in his eyes. He seemed reluctant to let go of her hand.

She was being silly. She remembered how she would analyze the possible meanings in a boy's gesture. She would always make the simplest gesture out to be romantic. Why was she obsessing over Leah's boyfriend? She'd heard Leah talk about Sam nonstop and had teased her about it. She couldn't hurt Leah like that. But there was something else. People who were attracted to another's significant other were treated like sluts. If someone found out about her attraction to Sam, they would call Emily a slut. Besides, it wasn't like Sam would notice her. He loved Leah. Emily sighed. When did the fairy tales mention that Prince Charming might have had a girlfriend?

Sam asked to talk to her in private. Emily's heart started to race. Perhaps he wanted to tell her that he loved her? No, don't be ridiculous. He probably just wants to tell you that he's in love with Leah and to leave him alone. But I haven't been hitting on him or anything, have I? Emily racked her brains to remember if she had, but she couldn't remember any specific incidents.

"I love you." Sam blurted out. He looked at Emily nervously. Emily's heart thudded. Inside she did a little victory dance. Sam loves me! He really loves me! She felt like a schoolgirl again. But a thought flashed through her mind. Leah. She couldn't be attracted to her cousin's boyfriend. It was a direct violation of girl code. It was a betrayal to her cousin. Emily couldn't be in love with Sam. She couldn't do that to Leah. But she wanted to say it. She wanted to say that she loved him as well.

"What...what about Leah?" Emily's voice came out in a whisper. Sam shook his head. "She's not important."
"Not important! You love her! She loves you!"

"No, it was a mistake. Em, we're meant to be together." Emily scowled. She wanted to just take Sam up on his offer. Family loyalty, Emily reminded herself. "You bastard! You think you can just walk in here and tell me that you love me? What makes you think that I'll ever love you? Go to hell!" Sam started to pant. Emily thought that it was out of anger, but she saw that it was much worse. His entire body started to shake. Suddenly he exploded. Emily could only get a glimpse of black fur before she was on the ground writhing in pain.

Her face hurt so bad. It was the worse pain she had ever felt. She was dimly aware of the fact that someone was holding her hand, but she didn't know who it was. "Em, it'll be okay. I...just can't believe this. Don't worry. Sam will pay. I'll make sure of it." Emily recognized the voice and determination: Leah. She wanted to tell Leah that it was her fault, that Sam was dangerous, but she couldn't.

Emily had to stay at the hospital. Leah came to visit her every day. She couldn't apologize enough. The first time Sam came to visit, Leah flipped out. She screamed explexetives at him and threatened to get a restraining order.  Sam held up his hands. "Lee, it's fine." Emily saw the look of incredulous rage that passed across her cousin's face. "Are you insane? He nearly killed you! Get lost, Sam!"

"No, Emily needs to he

The Downfall of the Cullens

Rosalie's POV
Nessie doesn't exist. Alternate ending to Breaking Dawn

In my previous life I was the girl everyone envied. I was smart, beautiful, and rich, and I didn't let anyone forget it. I knew that everyone wished to be Rosalie Hale. God, I was so vain then. When I think about the way I acted I just want to slap myself. I was such a little idiot. I know girls like me would usually be subjected to a rude awakening, but rape and a family that hates me seems to be a bit much. Yes, the Cullens hate me.

Now, they've never actually said anything out loud, but I can tell. They only care about Edward. Special little Edward, the golden boy. He's the bratty kid brother I never had. Edward goes and kills people, it's alright. I don't like Edward's girlfriend- oh no, I must be stopped! Honestly, I don't know why everyone's in love with Swan. What's so special about her? She had plain brown eyes, pale skin,  uneven lips, a heart-shaped face and brown hair. She could barely walk a foot without tripping. She fainted at the sight of blood. There wasn't anything about her to make one sit up and notice her.

Yet that was all people did. Swan never did anything extrodinary, yet people loved her. I didn't understand it. What made this girl so special that my family would risk their lives to defend her without complaint? Would they risk their lives to defend me? Fat chance. I was just the vain, shallow bitch who happened to be pretty. Swan neve even thanked us, for crying out loud. We risk our lives for her and she just whines about her life. But does anyone call her out on it besides me? NO. When I do, I'm labeled a bitch.

I think it's because Swan is Edward's girlfriend. If I brought home a human boy, I'd get the lecture of my life. But of course perfect Edward can do no wrong. It just ticks me off. Why is it that he can get away with anything? Is it because Carlisle felt sorry for him? Is it because he was the first one changed? What is it? I just wish someone would tell Edward off. I'm sick of him always making snide judgements about me. So I'm beautiful. Should I be ashamed of my beauty? I know I'm beautiful, and I'm not going to be ashamed of it. But of course being proud of my beauty is a sin, according to Saint Edward.  God, he's such a stuck-up prude prick. I have no problems with virgins. But I have a problem when people make having sex something dirty.

There are times I wonder what it'd be like if I were to leave the Cullens. I don't think that they'd notice. If they did, they'd sigh with relief. Swan would replace me. I'm sure she'd be a welcome addition to the family. She'd be much more welcomed than I am, anyway. Carlisle loves her like a daughter, as does Esme. She's Alice and Emmett's kid sister. I don't know how Jasper feels about her.  I just wish that the Cullens would realize I'm not trying to be a bitch; I'm trying to protect them. Suppose one of them slips and injures Swan? My entire family would be destroyed.

Then there's the way Edward treats Swan That behavior was fashionabe around my time, but it's not now. He never lets Swan out of his sight and he never lets her do anything. He has absolutely no respect for her and she allows it. She lets him talk down to her friends without saying anything. She lets him stalk her. Seriously, who the hell is flattered by someone stalking them? I've tried to talk to Swan about this. It's clear she doesn't love Edward. I bet she can't name a reason for loving him aside from how god-like he is. But yet she wants to be with someone forever. Forever is a long time. She's just a teenage girl with a crush, and Edward's just a teenage boy with a crush. Yet they're going to pass it off as true love. Swan might not enjoy vampire life. She'll never be able to see her family again. She'll struggle with bloodlust. She might kill people. She might want children. This is a decision that she won't be able to take back, but she's rushing headlong into it, just for a guy who treats her like crap.

I sat outside. Tommorrow Edward would change Swan. It'd be like a ceremony. A ritual sacrifice. Hah. I wondered if I should try and reason with the lovebirds again. Nah, I wasn't in the mood to hear about what a bitch I was. If that idiot girl wanted to mess up her life, she could go right ahead. It wasn't my problem. I just hoped she knew what she was getting into. I heard someone sit down beside me. "Jasper, what do you want? I'm not bothering anyone."

"I came here to clear my head. Big day tomorrow."

I grunted. "You're upset."

"Wouldn't you be if someone was throwing their life away?"


"Did you want to be a vampire?"

Jasper hesitated. "I  never really knew much about vampires, so I can't say."

"Would you become one if you knew what was going to happen to you?"

"I don't think so. It's awful, having to fight the urge to suck blood and it's awful having everyone condemn you for your past.

"You liked drinking human blood?" My voice was sharp and accusing.

"Yes, I liked it, Rosalie. In a sick way, I liked it." He snapped. "I didn't like killing them," he continued. "I was repulsed by myself when I did that. I wouldn't hunt for days. It was a food option. I wasn't like those sick bastard who raped and killed people for their sick pleasure. I made it as painless as possible. Yet I get taken in by this family that condemns me for not living their lifestyle. I can tell Edward thinks that I need to suck it up and deal."

I sighed. "I hate being a vampire. I hate that I was turned to be a mate. Everyone only saw my beauty. I just can't believe that  Bella wants to become a vampire. Does she even know what she's doing?"

"She's a teenager that's infatuated. She's allowed to do stupid things."

"Turning into a monster isn't stupid! It's worse than stupid! Doesn't she realize that she might kill people?" How could someone be so stupid?

"Emmettt and I have a bet on how many she'll kill," Jasper confessed.

"That's horrible!"

"It is. In a sick way, I want to see her mess up. I'm sick of being the screw-up and loose canon of the family.  I didn't say anything. It was true, as much as I hated to admit it. "I really hope this doesn't screw anything up."

Swan was turned into a vampire. She was gorgeous and estatic. Finally she could kiss Edward passionately and sleep with him. Hooray for the happy couple. For the most part, she seemed okay. Everyone was always crowding around her, coddling her. I didn't have time for such nonsense, but my family did. Emmett was always laughing with Bella, just like Alice. Of course Swan fit right in. What a shock. I started talking to Jasper more. He felt uncomfortable around Swan after he nearly killed her.  I told him that I liked to read and write. When he asked why I kept it a secret I told him it was because beautiful girls weren't smart. The family would laugh. What with us being the odd ones out,  we had plenty of time to bond.

Edward left Swan. Apparently he can read her mind now. Don't ask me how. He found out that she was nothing more than  a teenage girl with a crush and left her. I couldn't believe it. He didn't like his wife's thoughts, so he left her? This was bullshit. I showed up at his apartment. "You are a piece of shit, you know that?" I snapped.

"Rosalie, don't start," he ordered.

"You are an idiot. I told you time and time again not to date Swan, but would you listen? She wasn't anything  special! She wasn't any different than the girls you hated! The only reason you loved her is because you couldn't read her mind so you could pretend she wasn't a teenage girl. Wake up, Edward! She's a teenage girl in infatuation. Of course she's going to think you're hot! That's all she cared about!"

"Shut up! I love her! I- I needed time to think. This is a big adjustment for me."

"Oh, don't give me that bull! You were infatuated with Swan as well, and not even the real Swan! You couldn't read her mind so you could pretend she was deep. Wake up! She isn't! She's  a teenage girl. They aren't known for their profound wisdom. Your problem is that you're an arrogant prick. You hear someone's thoughts, so you can judge them. But you know nothing about them! Do you know my favorite actress? Song? Most embarrassing moment? My aspiration?  My favorite book? My best friend? Do you know Swan's? No, you don't! Your relationship was a disgrace to true love. How the hell is abusing someone love? If you loved her,  you wouldn't have left her because of her thoughts! Real couples fight! It's human nature! We don't lose our emotions that make us human when we become monsters. You aren't even going to try to get Swan back. You're just going to run away, as usual."

"Shut up!" he roared. I ducked as he hurled a desk at my head. Fine. Let him act like a prick. I didn't care. He had it coming. I'd tried to warn him. Alice was devestated at the loss and tried to console Swan. Without Edward, there was no reason for her to stay.  She left as well. Everyone was miserable without the two brats. They just forgot about Jasper and I. After all, only Swan and Edward mattered. I went on with my life as usual. What? Was I supposed to mourn for people I disliked?

One night Bella's mutt friend showed up at our mansion. A woman was with him. "Hello, Blondie. Is Cullen here?"

"We're all Cullens," I told him. "If this is about the treaty-"

"It's not," he said. "It's about Bella. Is she here?"

"Bella left,"  I said. "Edward can read her mind now. He didn't like her thoughts, so she left after he left her."  The mutt shook his head. "This is bad. You guys don't know anything about it, then?"

"About what?" I snapped.

"Can I come in?"

Reluctantly I stepped aside. Five minutes later, the family was gathered in the living room. "Bella's been killing humans." The woman's voice was flat.

"How do you know this?" Carlisle looked concerned.

"We went to Charlie's place. He was dead. Her scent was there. We' ve been tracking her."

"What does this mean?" Esme whispered.

"We'll have to stop Bella."

"Stop her how?"  At Jasper's bleak look she buried her face in her hands. "No, you can't kill her! I won't let you!" I wondered if she would do the same for me.

"She's killing people. This violates the treaty. She's out of control and needs to be stopped." The woman's voice was harsh.

"Leah," the mutt warned.

"What? It's the truth! We have to stop her before she hurts anyone else."

"I don't like it."

"Tough." It was decided that we would deal with Bella, since she was family. Alice got a vision about where Swan would be. She saw her at the meadow. The two mutts went with us to the place. Sure enough Swan was there. Her eyes glowed red and she practically foamed at the mouth.  She had a scared expression on her face. "Don't come any closer!" she yelled.

"Bella, darling. We just want to help you," Esme whispered. "Please, come home."

"It's not fair! What did I do wrong? I killed my father. I've killed others! I'm a monster!"  She curled up in the fetal position and started to sob. "Where's Edward? Where's my angel?"

Esme moved closer and held out her hand. "It's alright, sweetheart. We'll get Edward."

"Why doesn't he love me?" she moaned.

"Edward loves you very much. Come here." Esme touched Swan. Swan pounced. Esme never stood a chance. I don't think Esme even knew that she was attacked. Two seconds later, her head was ripped off!

"No!" Carlisle roared, lunging at Bella. "You can fight this!" 

"Don't hurt her!" Alice screamed.  She shoved Carlisle away from Swan. "Bella, it's me, Alice. Don't you recognize me?" Alice screamed as Swan punched her. "Leave  her alone!" I screamed. I launched myself onto her back and started pummeling her furiously. "Don't hurt her! Someone help!" Alice danced on the outskirts of the fight. Carlisle had gone to cradle Esme's body. Swan threw me off, but I landed on my feet. I aimed a punch at her and smiled when it connected with her face. My smile disappeared when she aimed a kick at my ribs and succeeded. With a fierce growl I leapt on her, my hands wrapped around her neck. "Rosalie, don't!  Stop! Stop!" I didn't hear Alice. Swan was insane. I had to hold her down.

"Jasper, do something!" I yelled. "Calm her down!"  I must have loosened my hold because  Swan broke free from my grip. All those stories about the newborns being difficult to defeat was true. Swan never tired. I was assailed with a barrage of punches, kicks, and slaps.  Then I could feel my head being twisted. Swan had a savage look on her face. "You always hated me, didn't you, Rosalie? You thought you were better than me, didn't you? I was just a pathetic human to you, wasn't I?"  She let me go and threw me on the ground. My mind flashed back to my last moment as a human. The man I loved, raping me. Being beaten like a rag doll. Wishing I would die. "No, stop! Stop!" I screamed. I curled into a ball and sobbed. Instead of Swan attacking me, it was Royce. 

"No! Jasper, how could you?" Alice wailed. I looked up. Bella's head lay a few feet in front of me. Jasper stood there while Alice pummelled her fists against his chest. She was sobbing. "You monster!" I realized what had happened. Jasper had killed Swan. He had saved my life.

The family fell to pieces after that. Devestated at the loss of Esme and his failure to keep the family together, Carlisle disappeared. Emmett said that he needed time to clear his head. He didn't say when he'd be back. When I told him that I would go with him, he told he'd prefer that I didn't. He didn't say anything, but I could see the condemnation in his eyes. He blamed me for Swan's death.  Edward found out and committed suicide. The two golden children gone. Once again, I was the bitch.

Alice wouldn't come out of her room no matter what Jasper did. "Ally, please come out," he begged. Alice stepped out. She stared at Jasper and then slapped him. "I hate you, Jasper! Thanks to you the only two people I've ever loved are dead!" Jasper stared at Alice like a wounded puppy. Alice glared at him and slammed the door.

"Alice! You bitch, get out here!" I shrieked. I had a good mind to rip her head  off. I felt waves of calm washing over me. "Leave it, Rosalie. It's not worth it." I could see the pain in Jasper's eyes.
I guided him back to his room. "I'm sorry."  Jasper shook his head. "Don't be. This isn't your fault."

"But it is. You saved me."

"I wanted Bella to understand the consequences of being a vampire. I wanted her to realize that it wasn't fun and games. I didn't realize that it would cost me my family."

"Jasper, this isn't your fault. You didn't wish for this to happen. You saved me."

"I can't believe Alice said that. She was my light in the dark. She was my angel. Everything I did, I did for her. How could she just abandon me for some stupid girl! It was always about Bella! She caused this family to break apart! What was so special about a silly little girl! I lost my mother figure, my father figure, my brother figures, and my wife. I've got nobody thanks to that girl!"

"You have me. Do you think I was a bitch for hating Bella?"

"I think you were jealous. I hated her too, at times. Everyone always paid attention to her. But she made Alice happy, so who was I to complain?

"You're a better person than I am."

"Not really. This is just.... I can't deal with the emotions!" Jasper roared suddenly. "I can't deal with Alice's hatred of me.  I've got to get out of here."


"Come with me. I can't be alone and you're the only person who doesn't hate me."

"Jasper, I...."

"I'm not asking you to elope. I need a friend." I looked into Jasper's pain-filled eyes. How could I say no? "Sure."  What had happened was a tragedy. It had destroyed Esme, Carlisle, Swan, Edward, Alice, and Emmett.  I would not let it destroy Jasper and I.  I had to protect the remaining member of my family.


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